I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I need moral support for this bender
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
