$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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