M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
