i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
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