i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
