so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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