if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
