so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
