Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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