found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Randomize
