we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
they're like a gay fantastic four
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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