You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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