she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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