I wanna passion pit in your ass
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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