theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize
