If i come over, it means nothing
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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