Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I am mentally ready for anal.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
