I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
That accounts for only three of the penises
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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