Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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