i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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