somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
