He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
