Where did you get a picture of my penis
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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