Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
