I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Randomize
