At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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