I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
