i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
