i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Randomize
