I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
