Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Randomize
