my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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