Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Randomize
