belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Randomize
