YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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