on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
How's work?
Spinning.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
