If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
