I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
