Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
