Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
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