I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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