I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
