Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
The uberlube is also flammable
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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