he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
