It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
She just used a chaser for red wine.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
