And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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