i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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