as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Randomize
