In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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