Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
